Challenges of Writing

I'm a writer. A published writer, but for some time now I have been unable to focus on writing and this has brought me a lot of disappointment.

My mother has been diagnosed with dementia several years ago. And as dementia goes it has gotten worse. She is now at the point where she remembers very few faces. She has days where she puts her clothes on backwards, inside out and doesn't always pull her slacks or underwear up the whole way.

She can no longer bathe herself. She has become incontinent. She has trouble hearing and if/when she does hear what is being said she doesn't understand. Her sentences are broken and her words are minced. This is not the mother I imagined having as a young woman. I believed my mom would be there for me to vent to when life felt unfair.

My mother's dementia has taken over any free time I had to write. I have regular paying job that supplies a regular income, but my real passion falls to writing. I have asked myself "how can I balance my life so I will accomplish all that I want to?" I don't want to lose the progress I've made with my writing and I'm beginning to feel I will.

I struggle with guilt and feelings of selfishness because of wanting to spend time in my own home writing or researching a writing topic. I struggle with guilt and feelings of selfishness because I want to take a road trip to photograph nature and places to support my writing topics.

This blog (I hope) will be my saving grace. I place where I can come to and vent while achieving what I love to do (second to spending time with my grandkids) the most.